Life as The Single Wife began in 2010. At 24, I was swept off my feet by what I like to call a ‘Prince Charming.’ He knew all the lines to use and fell right into my little storybook vision of happiness. It was a whirlwind romance – after a month, we traveled out of the country together; after two months, he proposed; and after three months, he met my family. Things went FAST, but I’d previously decided that I should be married by 25 so in my mind, he was a Godsend.
Just a few weeks later, he flipped the script and turned into a complete nut case. Just as fast as he swept me off my feet with his sweet words, fancy dinners and trips, he dropped me with his temper, lies, and abuse. They say hindsight is always 20/20 and looking back, I can see clearly that I fell right into his lap as a young, naive girl who thought she knew what she wanted. What I’ve learned now is that I couldn’t have possibly known what I wanted because I didn’t know who I was. The relationship, turned into engagement 3 months later and ended in abuse 5 months after that. Although I was happy for it to end, I felt lost. I didn’t know what I wanted or who I was because I’d spent every day trying so hard to be part of a relationship. I knew I wanted better for myself so I was determined to get back up and get on my game.
In 2011, I founded The Single Wives Club – an organization dedicated to preparing women to become wives. This is how I turned my tears into my treasure. Instead of letting a terrible experience break me, I used it to build my character, to learn who I was and what I wanted, to decide what kind of life I wanted to live. I’ve learned that with every experience comes a lesson. My goal has been to learn each lesson the first time and to never make the same mistake twice.
Throughout my journey of building The Single Wives Club, I’ve strived to become the example by living the lessons I’ve learned. I believe that my purpose is to use my crazy experiences to help others avoid similar situations. I am no expert; I am no therapist or relationship coach. I am simply a single woman who sees better for herself and her single sisters. When we know better, we do better. I now realize the need to set standards, not just for the men in my life, but for myself.
I encourage all single women to recognize your true value, learn your worth and never let anyone determine your destiny. Do what feels right to you, what you can sleep with at night – nothing more and absolutely nothing less. Live for yourself because you deserve happiness. No matter what, if it doesn’t make you happy it isn’t worth your time and that goes for anything that could distract you from living the life of your dreams.
I’m living and learning every day. Every day, I wake up with a goal to live better than I did the day before. It takes effort and energy, but the reward is priceless. I am The Single Wife and with this organization I am empowering, encouraging and educating women on ways to become their best self before becoming a wife.