Relationships and conflict

There is nothing like the feeling  of meeting a new person, especially when you click. We are filled with excitement therefore, we are anxious to know more about them. I know most won’t admit it but our  lustful thoughts begin to dangle around a bit too. We exchange phone numbers and begin talking on the phone for hours and hours. And if we’re not talking on the phone we are texting one another.  We spend so much time with one another and it feels good. It’s like you just can’t get enough of this person and you feel like, this might be the one. Well that lasts for about two to three weeks, then something happens.  You start to notice things about the  person that you don’t like.  What has happened here?  THE REPRESENTATIVE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!! The interview is over now; it’s time to start the JOB called relationship.  This is the stage where many of us get tripped up. It is at this point where two people go straight, or one goes left, and the other goes right. See, many of us have sat and imagined our ideal mate and what characteristics we would like for them to have. While we have put this wonderful person together in our minds, in real life,  we forget to factor in the issues that come up in a relationship. Recently, I heard someone say, in today’s modern dating, people are just bullsh!tting and killing time with one another until they  get tired, or find out something they don’t like about each other. Then they block each other. Once we get into a relationship, whatever we have inside comes out: the good, bad, and the ugly. It all effects the relationship. This is where the HARD work comes in, and for many of us, when the going gets tough, we get to going.  As soon as we come face to face with conflict and problems outside of our box of a perfect relationship, we sometimes don’t like to deal with it. The reality is, it is in the bad times that we learn who we’re REALLY dealing with. It is in the bad times that we also learn who we REALLY are individually. It is in the bad times when we see just what the relationship is REALLY made of. This makes me think of an episode on ”The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” when Tisha Campbell-Martin made a guest appearance as Will’s girlfriend Kathleen. In the episode their relationship was fresh and they could not get enough of one another. Then suddenly, an earthquake hit and the two got stuck in the basement. Will learned Kathleen wore fake hair, fake nails, and that she thought his ears were really big. Basically, during the earthquake the couple learned that once they got to know one another, they weren’t too impressed. In the point that I am making, the earthquake in that episode represents the bad times we go through in relationships. It took for Will and Kathleen to get stuck in a bad situation for them to learn one another. Unfortunately, in relationships the bitter and the sweet go hand in hand; there really is no way around it. Think of it like a plant; in order to grow it needs the sunshine, rain, and dirt. In terms of a relationship, the sunshine obviously represents the good times, the rain represents the bad times, and the dirt of course represents the ugly times. Just like a plant needs all of the above to grow, the same applies to a relationship.

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