Recently I went to see the film Till Death Do Us Part. I knew what the movie was about but didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to watch it. With this month being Domestic Violence Awareness month, it is definitely a good time to make sure that the ladies who read this know some of the signs of domestic abuse. No one ever wants to talk about it, but there is definitely a need for it. Being one of the coauthors of the book, When A Woman’s Fed Up, I feel that it is my duty. Here are some of the red flags of domestic abuse.
1. Calling you all of the time: If you have been in a relationship where you have felt neglected, a man calling you checking on your every move would seem like he cares so much about you. Honey, he is just keeping tabs on you. He wants to know where you are at all times.
2. Pays for everything: In your mind, you are like “YAAAASSSS, my man takes care of me.” That is amazing when the intentions are good. However, the intentions are anything but pure when he tells you that he doesn’t want you to work because he wants you all to himself. If in the same breath, he tells you that he pays for everything and how you don’t have a want or need for anything because of all he does for you, he is trying to control you financially.
3. Tells you no one else will want you: He is trying to get in your head. Tear your self-esteem down to where you believe he is the only one that wants you. That’s how he tricks you into staying. So many women fall for this. Trust and believe he isn’t the only one who will want you. Love yourself and leave him.
4. Puts you down all the time: He tells you that you are fat, skinny, too dark, too light or even stupid. Anything derogatory towards you that makes you feel bad about yourself is verbally abusive. Your mate should make you feel good about yourself not put you down.
5. Asking numerous questions: Where are you going? Who are you with? How long will you be out? Why are you wearing that? Who is calling you? All questions that could be innocent from someone with good intentions. However, if it happens all of the time he is trying to control the situation. There should be trust in any relationship.
6. Jealous much?: He doesn’t let you talk to any other man without him being present; he will get upset if another man compliments you; doesn’t allow you to have any male friends.
7. ANY unwanted touch: Not limited to the obvious hitting. This could be a push, choking, grabbing, or yanking. Even if you hit back, that’s still abuse. No one deserves to be treated that way.
If any of the above is happening to you, please know that you don’t have to stay in that situation. Find someone to confide in and get the help you need to leave. If you need words to empower you please pick up the book called When A Woman’s Fed Up. Join a church or a women’s group. I just beg you to get away before it is too late. Speak up! Get help!