Issa Rae’s hit show among the masses on HBO, explores the dynamics between friendships and relationships, both romantic and in the workplace; giving it’s viewers insight from the black experience. Insecure, which I’m sure was named with plenty of pun intended, explores common insecurities but with a little comedy to lighten things up a bit. The show’s second season seemed to have a recurring theme, especially when it came down to dating: double standards, leaving some of us unsure if we wanted to laugh, cry, scream or shout.
There’s a thin line between having a double standard and being a hypocrite. Molly, the lawyer who seems to have it all together and is on her quest for Mr.Right somehow continuously ends up with Mr.Right Now, whoever he is in that moment. During a discussion with Jared who Molly briefly entertains as a love interests, she learns after confessing to hooking up with a girl in college, that he also engaged in some same sex activity. Ironically, this completely tunred sis off because she cut him off completely! Why is it, especially within the black community, that it’s okay or expected for a man to be receptive of a woman’s exploration of her sexual fluidity but not men?
“You a f*** n**** who thinks he’s a good dude.” A phrase that is unfortunately all too relatable for some of us and while we were glad Tasha told Lawerence this, the context was all wrong. Did he send her mixed signals? Yes. However it was very clear that he was not yet over Issa and unsure of what he wanted. He also verbally communicated these things as well. He shouldn’t have agreed to attend her family’s bbq and then show up just to leave. If he didn’t have any real intentions of being serious with her then why attend at all but she shouldn’t have been so adamant on trying to force it either. This situation showcases two different double standards. For Tasha, can she really hold him accountable for his actions currently, when she didn’t in the beginning? She allowed him to think that he was a good man who was worthy of her love, now that the smoke has cleared; she changed her mind. Lawerence is no better for crying victim after being called out on the circumstances he created.
Lastly, we the women, are sick and tired of being judged for the way we carryout our lives. Specifically when it comes down to dating and men. Issa cheating on Lawerence is inexcusable but the backlash and judgement about her behavior is a little extreme. She cheated once and all of a sudden that makes her a whore? Furthermore, once single, shouldn’t a woman be able to discover who she is and what she wants physically, sexually, and emotionally without being degraded or characterized as anything less than what she desires? When men do so, they get a pass and in some instances praised!
This season did not disappoint and had a few of us wondering if our so called “standards” double as an excuse to be a hypocrite.