Ya’ll know I love me some women, as in, I support my gender and am all in favor of the Black Girl Magic movement! However, I’ve noticed some things that are disturbing to me. Let me put this out there, this isn’t EVERY woman, nor is it for every woman. This isn’t meant to bash the next and this is not intended to make anyone feel bad. This is meant to shine light, bring awareness, and ultimately get us to do better as a whole, not just an individual!  Now that I’ve gotten that out the way, let us begin!

With the recent highlight of some of our favorite shows, Game of Thrones, Power, and Insecure etc. some of us women have taken a different stance. I have personally heard women glorify being the side chick, staying for the material gain, cheating if he ain’t getting it right, or wanting to fit in so bad that they’ll do just about anything to fill the void rather than perform a self- check!   Don’t get me wrong we’ve all been there, in some form or another. Whether that was in high school, college, or at this point in life today. There may be someone dealing with these issues!  Sometimes being woke and having standards leaves us high and dry with loads of pain to undo. In some instances, life happens and people find themselves in impossible situations. I am here to tell you some things that maybe your girlfriends aren’t saying or maybe they are and you just aren’t hearing it.  Either way, I’ve concluded, Sis we gotta do better! We have to do better as women as a whole as the part of the population that is the most educated and set apart; as a community and bond of sisterhood and accountability. We have to do better knowing that there is more than what you see on T.V.


I want you to know, you’re more than the side piece and although you’re lonely, lowering yourself to appease anyone other than yourself is a no go! If you got with him while he was with her – understand, he isn’t leaving her anytime soon and you’ll lose him eventually the same way he found you.  No, he can’t come to your place all times of night, and NO he can’t sleepover just because you’ve known each other for so long and NO I don’t recommend you to lay down with him simply because you want to and he does too! Why? Because down the road there is pain and it builds up only to create other issues.  If your man isn’t acting right,  talk it out. Don’t go cheat, nor turn to social media to get their diverse ill-equipped opinion. If that doesn’t work then it’s best you two go your separate ways. Is that hard to do? Yes, but staying in something for the sake of it leaves you lonelier than before.


I am ultimately saddened that we as women feel the need to tear one another down when we want to  be insightful.  Perspective and approach means everything and valuing your knowledge and wisdom over another is shameful! We’ve all worked hard – degrees, certificates, entrepreneurs, or even self taught/self- made women share one thing in common = ambition. It’s never okay to “come” for your sister especially the one you don’t understand! A part of correcting a person requires a delivery of love, truth, and light! We must have some equity to understand this approach . The need to feel superior because you’re insecure is unacceptable. We must address ” The cliques!” But why? Of course, it’s easier to know who you know and live small, nothing wrong with that all. However, not being put on, not giving opportunities to the next hard working woman simply because you don’t’ know her is a bit much! Granted, I get it and I know how it feels to be burned. A part of being blessed is being able to give back with no recognition at all. Let’s not mention being combative, catty, and confusing. Sis, we MUST do better.


Build each other up. Learn to love one another. Help your sister grow and develop. Take a chance. Forgive, Release. Partner. Whatever the issue is, do better. We’re all called higher and greater and to serve a purpose beyond ourselves!