saying no

Are you a people pleaser? Do you find yourself saying “Yes” to every single favor, event and everything in between?   Learning to say “No,” can be a bit of a challenge when you genuinely want to support family and friends.

Unfortunately, depending on your personal obligations, stress can snowball and you will not have any time for yourself. It is a harsh reality.

Here are some things to consider when you may need to say no:



  1. Saying No Doesn’t Mean You Are Being Rude

    This is number one on this list for a reason.  We say “Yes” at times to be “nice.”  It is not what you say sometimes, but how you say them.  There are plenty of acceptable ways to turn down an event or possible commitment.  Believe it or not, you can say “no” in a nice way.


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  1. Consider Yourself

    This goes back to that good ol’ self-care. Sometimes we say yes before we even check out what our personal obligations may be. Honestly, back in the day I could do this. Straight wing my day to day, but now being a wife and mother of a two year old it isn’t happening.  I have had some pretty crazy weeks simply,  because I overbooked  and didn’t consider myself at all.

saying no

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  1. Don’t feel obligated to explain

    This can be a hard one because you want your family and friends to understand your sincerity for turning down an invite or ability to help. I have picked my spots on explaining myself to others. Some appreciate them while others really don’t even care.  I have found this to be frustrating at times because it shows lack of consideration.

saying no

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  1. Relationships-

    You may find it easier to say no if you separate the relationship you have with that person. I am not talking about putting a family member up against a friend. By relationships, I mean putting your personal needs first. Example: If your best friend is having that weekly party, it might be ok to miss one or two so you can focus on that exam you have coming up. You are simply shifting others obligations to your own personal ones.

  2. Boundaries

    Saying no allows you to set personal limitations for yourself.  Example: If you know you can’t afford that next girls trip,  because you are saving for a new house then set that limitation.  You will thank yourself later.



In a perfect world, we could be everywhere and still have time for ourselves. Oh, how I wish this were true.  After having plenty of stressful moments. I realized I wasn’t working at my highest potential because I was spread super thin. Completely stressed, exhausted and disappointed that I wasn’t focusing more on my personal life and goals. I was giving my all to everyone else except me.

We only have ourselves to blame for not making time for self-care.  Looking back it’s unacceptable to run down a list of events you needed to attend instead of completing that goal you have been dreaming about or making time for loved ones.

Choose wisely.  True relationships will understand.  This will leave you feeling more refreshed.  Helping others and accepting those event invites will be more fun. I promise 🙂