What's Really Happening When the Good Girl Goes Bad?

One of my favorite binge worthy shows includes a very beautiful, intelligent, awkward woman. Of course, I’m talking about Issa from HBO’s Insecure. Last season ended with Issa, a good woman, taking a walk on the wild acting completely out of character.  Issa’s went from trying to figure out her relationship to ratcheness when she dove nose first into another man’s lap. In the end she regretted her in the living in the moment actions. I have to ask,  What Really Happening When the Good Girl Goes Bad? 

Like the rest of you ladies, I sat at home rooting for her and Lawerence. I was literally screaming at the TV  “No don’t go to the studio with him,” “Are you really having a drink?”. Don’t get me wrong Lawerence had his flaws, but nobody deserves to be cheated on. I wanted  Issa to make good choices, but she straight up fucked it up. So there we have it. A girl who’s been in a relationship with her boyfriend for five years is willing to risk it all for a moment of curiosity.

Now I’m not picking on my tv bestie, because I’ve messed up great situations myself. I have sabotaged some awesome relationships because I was not truly ready. Good girls go bad for several reasons, but they all stem from within. The following are some of the reasons why I believe a good girl goes bad.

1.)Unsatisfaction with Self

Have you ever noticed when you’re unhappy with the way things are going in your life it affects your relationship with others? It is a hard task to coexist with another person when you are unsatisfied with your life. You tend to start picking up on every single thing that person does wrong and zoom in on all the negativity. Why? Because it’s easier to point out someone else’s mess than to deal with the truth of how unsatisfied you are with your own life. When you are not happy with your life you will not be happy with another. Happiness begins within.

2.)The urge to test the waters

Naturally, we are curious beings. Our minds wander and we always ask ourselves are we doing the best we can? Is this the life we want to live?  The is a natural feeling. The issue occurs when one thing goes wrong in our lives and we debate turning our world inside out. We are tempted to do things we wouldn’t normally do or associate with people we normally wouldn’t talk to. Do not get distracted by things that are not meant for you. Guess what LIFE IS GOING TO HAPPEN. Just as you have great days, there will be some rough ones. You will have disagreements with your spouse, that doesn’t mean break up or go cheat because you aren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment. When things get rough do not let that fear have you in a panic. The grass always looks a little greener when you have some brown patches in your lawn.

3.) Unhealed wounds

Ever wondered why Ray over there looking so fine, and John is looking so unattractive? Why You keep dreaming about Ray and can’t stop checking his social media? It’s because you never let go of Ray. When you swept feelings and emotions under the rug those emotions weren’t properly dealt with. Those unhealed wounds still have you tripping on Ray. It made you forgot how Ray was a jerk to you, he had horrible communication, how he never supported you. These unhealed wounds also have you thinking Ray looks better than John because Ray is the pain you know. In reality, a past relationship is a loss. When it’s done it’s done and you have to let it go. If you never let it go you will always resort back to those old feelings and you will constantly be stuck in the same reply over and over again. You will always compare someone to your last if you never let those old wounds heal.

4.) Emotionally unavailable

Let’s face it, ladies, sometimes we just aren’t at the stage of our lives where we need to be in a relationship with another person. Some women fear being alone. You know what’s worse than being alone? Calling yourself in a relationship with someone being in a room with that person and feeling empty on the inside. Being emotionally unavailable will have you spending your time with a person you would’ve never looked at in a million years. You will settle because you feel well I’m not looking for anything serious anyway. So if it’s not exactly what you want then why settle for less? It’s okay to put that sorry we’re closed sign up. It’s not fair to yourself or another to not properly have your ducks in a row emotionally before committing to someone. Ultimately this will put you deeper into that emotionless state.

Remember to take care of yourself. If you’re a good girl going through that bad girl stage check out my previous post on the importance of being Selfish.

Thanks for Reading. Stay Selfish