I just want to know if and where decent gentlemen hang out? Are they at the library? Are they in the produce aisle at the grocery store? Are they teaching adolescents swimming lessons at the YMCA? I mean where are they? For real though where are the men? I kind of miss the buffet and Sea of Guys college offered. There was a time when on any given day, you were approached by a different guy, Residence Halls,  The Student Union, walking to your car, the Gym, they were ALL OVER THE PLACE. There was so much engagement and so many choices! Yes, women could actually be “choosey”, lol.


Photo Credit: Classic105.com

How did I end up being one of those girls that has a phone full of “sister frans”, but no dudes in her address book? Don’t get me wrong, I love my sisters, but sometimes a woman just needs some male energy, conversation, perspective. WE show up differently (ladies) when men are a part of the equation. It just brings a different essence or vibe to the conversation.

A friend of mine, said to me, “Antres, you have to make room for a guy to come into your life. I don’t see where there is any room for him.” I started thinking to myself: Maybe it isn’t that men don’t exist, maybe it’s you that doesn’t exist. Maybe you have gotten too comfortable with being single. Now it’s one thing to be single and happy, but it’s whole other thing to be single and desperate. The latter leaves a man no way to get in. On the contrary it leaves more than enough room for a grown boy to infiltrate. Although I am happy, the truth for me is I now understand that I also have to be present and available. Available to have a conversation with the man standing behind me at the checkout. The man sitting next to me waiting for his car to finish getting detailed. I am more aware of my body language, my smiling, and my feminine “prowess”. So, I started to be cognitive of my presence while in public. Stand a little taller and smile a little more. Exude a carefree energy not just confidence. It’s all a mindset. A feeling if you will. It doesn’t happen overnight either ladies. Challenge yourself to engage or interact with men more often. You will find that they are out here, you just have to show up, be confident, and ready to take part in the experiences that are awaiting you!


Rebel on,