“I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years. I love him so much. I know he loves me. We have so much in common. We also have a three year old son. I’m ready for marriage and he says he’s not. He thinks we need more time. I’m thinking that five years is enough time. I grew up without a father and I don’t want that to happen for my son. How can I convince him to marry me? “
This is an inbox from a beautiful young lady. My heart immediately went out to her because I have walked a mile in her shoes. I was head over heels in love with the man I wanted to marry and who said he wanted to marry me. I pulled all the tricks out of the bag with this one. I made sure he was more than satisfied in the bedroom. I threw down in the kitchen. I made sure I kept myself looking right for him.
Warning: I’m going to rip the bandaid right off with this one so brace yourself.
None of those things work. If it did, every beautiful successful women with good bedroom skills and cooking skills would be happily married. It takes more than that.
You can be a good woman but never will you be good enough for a man who does not want to marry you. ~Shamieka Dean~
A baby won’t make him marry you. Cooking, cleaning and bedroom magic won’t make him marry you. A man who has been allowed to have the privilege of you performing wifely duties to him without a commitment is not in a rush to get you down the aisle. He has no reason to do so at this point. The benefits that should come after the contract are being provided upfront.
Now that I’ve ripped the bandaid off, I do have good news.
There is a way to get the man you love to marry you. This has worked for hundreds of woman and I’m sure if you apply it, it will work for you too. It’s not as hard as you may think. It’s all about strategy.
3 ways to get a man to marry you
1. Love You Some You
Love yourself enough to walk away from any man that doesn’t see you as valuable enough to make you his wife. Men know when you’re the one they want to share their last name with. It doesn’t take 5 years for them to know this. In order for you to get the man you love to marry you, is to first get rid of the one who doesn’t want to. Don’t waste time trying to convince someone who refuses to see your value that you’re worth it. Know that you’re worth it and act accordingly.
2. Build confidence
A more confident you will ward off pretenders like insect spray does bugs. When you’re confident in yourself, you won’t attract a man who can see no further than your physical assets. Confidence has been known to be the number one trait that attracts men who are willing to make a woman his wife. A lack of confidence is too much work for a man who’s already established and looking for his wife to help him meet his destiny.
3. Heal Before You Deal
It’s vitally important for you heal from the one who didn’t know how to love you. The truth is you can not attract an emotionally healthy man when you’re emotionally unhealthy. You attract who you are, not who you pretend to be. The hurt from your ex and an unwillingness to forgive, keeps you tied to your ex. It’s called a Soul Tie. This is why forgiveness is so important. Forgiveness is a necessary step in the haling process. You can skip this step but if you do, you’ll find a consistent pattern of toxic relationships.
Healing from your ex is not just about getting over the heartache. It’s about healing from the toxicity that attracted him to you in the first place. Getting to the root of the problem is the key to destroying the destructive patterns in your life.
I know how difficult breaking a soul tie is. I also know how hard it is to forgive someone who’s betrayed you. If I can forgive my ex, the men who raped me and the parents who rejected me, you can heal to.
I’m rooting for you. I know that your husband is looking for you. Continue to be beautiful and be encouraged.