Happy Couple

Women are nurturer’s by nature so it would be no surprise that when one loves a man, she’d take care of his mind, body, soul, and spirit; giving him her all. While these acts of endearment are done selflessly and can be a beautiful experience for both, we must be able to distinguish where to draw the line when it comes to dating.

If you’re a little apprehensive about setting limits to your love, we are not here to judge but you might want to change your perspective if you ever want to become a wife. In a perfect world, no one wants a relationship based upon conditions because we’ve been taught that love based on conditions really doesn’t love at all but do you really believe that? Shouldn’t there be some requirements for all that good loving you’re offering? A relationship without a ring is conditional because a boyfriend sure isn’t permanent and was never meant to be. Hence the term “courting.” Let’s not allow the days of DM’s and speed dating, lead us astray from the ultimate purpose; marriage! And yes as an adult, your intentions when pursuing someone should be to seek their hand in marriage because who wants to keep investing their time and effort for nothing?

The problem is that too many women are giving their all to men and it’s getting them everywhere but down the aisle. There’s nothing wrong with showing a man your good qualities and that your capable of performing your womanly duties but once it becomes routine, you might want to moderate how often you do so before exhausting your role as his girlfriend. Be sure that the person you are giving yourself to so freely appreciates it, not just by his words but with his actions as well. Oh, and while you’re at it, evaluate his character. Does he deserve for you to go to such great lengths to please him? Make sure he understands the idea of reciprocity. Don’t be led by lust, liking him doesn’t make him qualified to be a boyfriend and if he can’t excel at that role then honey he isn’t husband material.

Often we think that the amount of time we spent with someone or the fact we’ve had children with them, obligates us to stick around but if our wishes to become a wife never comes to fruition whose really to blame? A man can only get away with what you allow him to so maybe he isn’t ready or you’re not the one for him but you don’t owe him until forever to find out either. He could be a great guy but that doesn’t mean he’s meant to change your last name. Everything that feels good to you, may not be good for you. Nobody’s perfect but if he hasn’t changed the things he’s promised to then don’t try to force it. All those home cooked meals and tricks in the bedroom won’t sway him either. Men aren’t meant to be molded, well not the ones fit to be a husband and leader of the household. Ladies do we really want a man that needs to be reformed?

Ultimately, as a woman, you have to discern what’s best for you and your current relationship. Don’t forfeit your future holding on to someone who should be part of your past. Learn to give yourself and God the same love that you offer to men who haven’t made an honest woman out of you yet. Most importantly, you shouldn’t be a wife to a boyfriend because if things don’t turn out the way you desired, at least you can walk away being a better woman than you were before instead of feeling bitter, broken, and bewildered. So before giving a man the sun, moon, and the stars, ask yourself: why would he buy the cow when he’s been milking me for free?