What speaks to your spirit?
Who are you?
Who were you before the best thing in life happened to you?
Who taught you that it was acceptable to forget and lose yourself?
When did ‘I can’t I have the kids’ become a part of your regular vocabulary?
You had goals, dreams, and aspirations, but society told you that you had to give them up because you’re a mom now. You don’t babysit like daddy does. They say if you work long hours and are not able to spend every waking moment with your children, you’re a bad mom. If dad works long hours he’s a real man. A provider. A go getter. Yes, mommy is the nurturer; but who nurtures mommy’s gifts, talents, and aspirations?
Don’t we have callings on our lives too? Or do we wait until our kids finally leave the nest to start that singing career? Then society tells you that you are too old. Are you truly fulfilled in life? Yes, you love your children but who loves mommy enough to let her fly? There are no major differences between you and all of the other moms who are out there living life on their terms. They just went out there and did it. Women are powerful beings. We can accomplish any and all things. We constantly tell our daughters that they can be or do anything in life; but do we believe that for ourselves?
We make sure to support our men in all of their endeavors. We spend hours upon hours in extracurricular activities and on homework, because that’s what a good mom does. But who supports you? Mommy gets an occasional night out but never is fully present because “good moms” never leave their children with their fathers or anyone too long.
I’m not saying that you should abandon your children or leave them with any and everyone. What I am saying is, do not leave this earth without blessing the world with your gifts and talents. Show your children that mommy is really that superhero that they think you are. Show your little girl that she can be whatever she wants to be in life. Show your son what a whole and a complete woman looks like so that he can notice one when he is looking for his life partner.
Being a mom doesn’t mean celebrating everyone else’s glories but yours. Having children doesn’t mean that your life is over. I’m speaking to those working jobs that they hate, those who want to write that book, those that feel incomplete inside, or those that want to go for that promotion. Yes, we are the nurturers, but we have to be nurtured as well. We have to give from an overflowing cup.
Long gone are the days that women just stay home to take care of the house and the children, because even the stay at home mom has an ETSY shop or runs her mommy blog when the kids are away in school or taking a nap. Women want to be fulfilled. Women want to contribute to society, even if they are mothers; Especially when they are mothers. According to the United States Department of Labor, 70% of women in the workforce have children under the age of 18. But how many of those women are fulfilled? Better yet, how many of you that are reading this are fulfilled? It’s time to start changing what it means to be a mom, single or married, because the fact is that we are still human. We still have goals, dreams, and aspirations that live beyond the birthing table.
‘I can’t, I have the kids’ can no longer be an excuse to live an unfulfilled life, but a reason to show society that women giving up their lives at the expense of our sanity is no longer acceptable.