Earlier this month, social media was set ablaze by a series of tweets from a seemingly harmless man, urging women to date several men at once in order to find “Mr. Right”. His posts were so popular in fact it was shared over 12,000 times! The term “rotational dating” is making its rounds, sparking numerous debates and while some women are all in favor, men are not too happy that we’ve found a way to make the dating game work for us.
Here are a few excerpts:
As a single woman, his posts only confirmed what me and my girlfriends were already doing. Rotational dating has been around for years, but it is more common for men to do it publicly and openly.
For women, dating more than one man at a time comes across as promiscuous even if she isn’t sleeping with any of them. (That pesky double standard.)
In addition to some of the reasons listed above, here are a few that I’ve learned while dating.
- Rotational dating allows you to determine what you like in a man and what you don’t. — I’ve narrowed down my list from personality traits, career fields, even their relationship with people in general. For example, I found it hard to date a man who was in law enforcement because he was desensitized from a lot of things. He was familiar with mortality, and dealt with some unfavorable people day in and day out at his job, that when it came to being emotionally available in his relationship, he couldn’t turn it off.
- Not rotational dating, can often force you into a relationship with someone who may not be the best fit for you in the long run.– Too often, we commit too early to the wrong person. We feel like “why not?” He’s around, I’m around, and we date. Let’s be together. This is a huge no-no. There is nothing wrong with having platonic male friends. We shouldn’t have to force ourselves to be in a relationship solely based off because we’ve had a few dates and it seems to be going well.
- Keep it casual. Rotational dating doesn’t mean you have to have sex with everyone. — This is the biggest misconception. People assume if you’re dating several men at once then you must be sleeping with all of them, because who can’t separate sex from dating? (That’s sarcasm by the way). Coffee dates, bookstore meet ups, matinees, even going Dutch is a good way to not blur the lines. Men usually feel if they are spending big bucks on you for fancy dinners and elaborate concerts or plays, there’s a level of commitment. Be clear on your intentions.
So far for me, rotationally dating has worked out well. I have come across some good guys and some not so good guys and I’ve actually learned some things about myself in the process.
Ladies, have you tried it or will you??