Is dating transactional? “Hey, sweetie.” “I miss you.” “I’m thinking about you.” “What you doing?” “Can I come through?” Bad. This is all bad. Ladies any combination of these texts is an entry into the danger zone. Is dating transactional? Have you found yourself responding to these texts or getting giddy, because he sent you two to three words with one of two syllables? All it takes is a text from your crush, and they get full on access to the apartment gate, the kitchen refrigerator, and then boom…the bed. So is dating Transactional, yay or nay?
So let’s get into it. Are your text messages with him, simple little blurbs of conversation with nothing in between? It’s become the norm to interact with each other at best via text message. It has been my experience in the past while dating my ex-boyfriend [Ugh], I too was flattered by the late night beeps and alerts from that “special someone”. I instantly would rush to the bathroom, take a shower, light candles, and ensure my skin was soft and ready to be touched. Not once did I consider asking for something more. Not once did I consider that I was the prey. I thought I was the predator and was in control because he wanted to see me. He wanted to spend his night with me and no one else. So I felt as if it was cool to just “Netflix and Chill” in my boy shorts and tank…do not judge me.
By the next morning, he woke up first to get ready for work or a workout at the gym. I would get the fatal kiss on the forehead [Remember The Best Man movie?] and the ole’ “Have a good day, I’ll call you later, sweetie” text. Soon as he would leave, I turned into “Pathetic Patty”…waiting in despair for the mid-afternoon text, “How’s your day love?” Only to do it all over again within the next two days. See what I mean? Dating is transactional. It’s all about the “come through”, text one and text two. No real connections. Just what am I getting out of this for the moment, kind of deal. The Urban Dictionary describes dating as “A social form of prostitution.” [LMAO!] Rarely do I agree with the Urban Dictionary but, I guess when you think about it, that pretty much covers it. Of course, I am not saying all dating is bad; there are levels. However, for those of us who have not been blessed with the opportunity to meet someone who wants a commitment, this is more than likely the low-frequency experience we may have to encounter a time or two. Luckily for me, I have graduated from this “dating is transactional” mindset. You can find me currently investing in some #SelfLove and #SelfDiscovery.
Antres, Creator of The Robot Rebel