These were just a few of the responses from the question I asked of guys being ready to commit:
“You can be the greatest girl in the world, but if a guy isn’t ready [to commit], he isn’t ready. Every case is different, but for the most part, you can’t make a man do something he doesn’t want to do.”
“I think the timing is everything, and if that timing isn’t right and he’s not in a position financially or mentally to where he can treat her like she needs to be treated, then no matter how amazing the woman is and how much he loves her, he’s just not ready.”
“We’re selfish. We can tell early on how meaningful a woman in our life can be. If we’re not ready to commit, but realize this woman is a prize, we’ll do everything we can to keep her on standby.”
Though the reasons vary, these were most common:
- He simply doesn’t want to commit. – He’s at a point in his life where he’s still playing the field. Buck is still trying to be “The Big Man on Campus,” and the idea of knocking down Gabriella, Monica, Judy-Louise, Lisha, and Carrie still excites him. He’s not ready to give that up to be with one woman, not when he can have a different one every other night with no commitment. Yes, he likes you, but not enough to walk away from the different buffet of women that he will be giving up. And that, my friend, is the reality of it.
- He doesn’t want to commit to YOU. – You make him laugh. You have fun together, and he really does enjoy being around you. You are a great girl with all of these amazing qualities, but you’re just not the girl for HIM. He knows this already and has known for a minute. But, because he does enjoy your company, he keeps you around until the one he truly wants gets it together or comes along. So, it’s not a question of him being ready. He’s just not ready to commit to you… not today, tomorrow, or ever. Have you ever heard of a situation where people stopped “talking” and a month later, the person got into a committed relationship? He wanted one all along, just not with you.
- He’s narrowing down his options. – You are a good catch. He knows this and can potentially see you two being together. But, you see, you’re not the only one he can see a future with. He also sees the potential in him and Lucille. You both have qualities that he really likes and are both good people. He just can’t make that decision so easily, and until he decides which one of you is a better fit, he never give you that commitment.
- He knows that he doesn’t have to. – “Brad, if you don’t give me a relationship, I’m done!” Yeah, but Brenda, you said that three years ago. Yet, here you are, still hanging around, stopping by American Deli to get him that 10 piece wing special. He knows that you aren’t going anywhere. After all, you’ve stuck around all this time. There is nothing new that you can say to him that will even make him sweat because he knows that no matter how much you talk, you’ll only end up back at the house a few weeks later. He’s getting all of the benefits as if you’re already in a relationship. Why would he want to change that?
Whatever the reason, all you can is respect it; but that doesn’t mean you that have to accept it. If you know you want a committed, exclusive relationship, but Tom wants to continue to do the “bedroom bunny hop” with everyone in the area that you two live in, you do not have to wait around. You are not obligated to put your life on hold until a person feels he is ready. There’s somebody out there waiting to give you all that you want and deserve. But, the question is, will you ever find out, or will you still wait on Buck to get “ready?”