Maybe I missed something. I thought we all put our Angela Davis fists up, started wearing our natural hair and said, “eff a relaxer”. I thought we were boasting the importance of having a positive self body image and demonizing fat shaming. I thought we took a hint from Alicia Keys with her “no make-up” initiative to redefine our standards of beauty and yet, everyday as I scroll on my timeline I see we are still glorifying which celeb has the quickest post-baby snap back. Women with fat asses, slim waists and perky breasts are still getting come-up’s and being pursued by men all over the globe, and women are still dying from botched cosmetic surgery procedures to look like them. In this age of awakening, why are we still literally dying to be “bad and boujee”?
Growing up, I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with my mother about the importance of having a positive self body image. I do remember being told to eat healthy, exercise and take care of myself. Taking extreme measures to be “beautiful” was never a huge topic in my household for various reasons but, I’d like to think it was because more emphasis was placed on having brains, not beauty. I was encouraged to value being a good person and not to take stock in vanity. Now that I am raising two daughters of my own, I find myself at a crossroads between pushing two agendas. On one hand, I want to be all things natural, smelling like coconuts and essential oils. On the other hand, I want to be “bad and boujee” with a mommy make-over, complete with a Brazilian butt lift, preferably performed by the infamous Dr. Miami. There are so many different messages and images being pushed out there for us that it’s easy to feel conflicted so here are a few things to consider:
Stop Comparing Yourself to Celebrities
Look, I’m a “regular schmegular woman” without millions of dollars, a glam team, stylist, personal chef, maid or nanny. I work hard and even harder to cover the bags under my tired eyes with my Anastasia contour kit. So, until or unless I have the same amount of resources as my favorite celebs do, I’m doing myself no favors by trying to compare my body or appearance to theirs…and neither are you. There’s nothing wrong with self improvement but, if going that route, please do your research and save your coins. Don’t fall for the hype of these bargain basement deals for major surgery, it may literally cost you your life.
You Don’t Have to Choose
Whether you go for a more natural look or if you prefer being “bad and boujee”, it’s all good. It’s OK to be versatile and have a desire to switch up your look whenever you feel. In doing so, you’ll have a greater appreciation for the amount of effort it takes to do both. Being natural isn’t necessarily a walk in the park; there’s a ton of upkeep and man hours applied to slaying that curly fro at times. There’s also tons of maintenance and prep work in keeping that flawless look going 24/7 as well. As long as whatever look you’re going for is for YOU, then great. Your appearance must be based on your own personal opinion and not the desire to resemble someone else, or at the request of someone who doesn’t value your beauty.
The Kids are Watching
If you are a parent, be super cautious about how you talk about your body and who you idolize online. Children are like sponges. They watch everything we do and form their own thoughts and opinions of themselves as a result of the things they see and hear from us. You don’t want to create a feeling of inadequacy by projecting your own standard of beauty onto them.