So, it’s your first date and you want to set the tone for your potential relationship. You want to make sure this new guy knows that you have standards, class, and that “Netflix and chill” is not an option. Regardless of what you have said, for whatever reason, this guy is still in your personal space; you’ve caught him gazing everywhere BUT into your eyes, and to top it off, he’s getting too “touchy feel-y”. Mind you, this IS the first date.
This has happened to me before, and I get asked quite often why this is so. Is it that all men are pervs? Do they all just want one thing? Absolutely not. I suggest you look inward instead of outward, and do a quick check to see if the culprit of this unwanted behavior is unintended messages you may be sending through your date night attire. Here are four rules to make sure you are always sending the right message.
Rule #1: Think classy, not sexy: that means no excessive cleavage, no super tight clothes (where you could see your panty or thong line) and no short skirts or shorts. It’s always best to take grandma’s rule of thumb: “leave something to a man’s imagination”. My own rule of thumb is that if I have to keep pulling it up, or pulling it down, I’m doing too much.
Rule #2: It’s a date, not the club: Come on – most of us have had our club days in our 20’s and early 30’s, and I have a storage bin full of “club attire” that I had to retire once I became serious about sending the right messages to men (especially after I got married). I wanted a husband, not a hook up, so at some point I had to start acting accordingly, including the way I dressed. With that said, if you get dressed for your date, and you can picture yourself in the VIP area of a lounge, instead of sitting at a classy restaurant across from your potential bae, you may consider changing.
Rule #3: Accentuate your figure, but don’t overdo it: For me, I have natural 36DDs, small waist (well, smaller back then) and a nice rear. Being from Los Angeles, land of plastic surgery and implants, I always took pride in this. However, I did have to find ways to accent my curvy figure without exuding “sex” every time I walked in the room. A few suggestions are a nice (loose) dress with a belt, a sweater dress with cute boots, or even a nice off-the-shoulder blouse with jeans and a chic pump.
Rule #4: Play up your hair, make up and jewelry: Men love shiny, flowy or bouncy hair. So, make sure you get your hair freshly done, nice big curls, or a fresh, weightless twist-out (for the natural/curly girls). Wear light make up: a nice eye shadow, a little blush or a pop of colored lip. Then top off your outfit with a nice statement necklace or tear drop earrings. Remember, all three comes into play to make up the perfect outfit!
Remember, the goal is to be irresistible, but in a respectable way. You want to leave him wanting more of your time – mentally and spiritually, not physically. The intention should be to look fabulous enough to STILL turn heads when you walk in the room, from both men and women. It’s the “WOW” factor you are looking for, not the “DAYUUMMMNNN” factor. Catch my drift, ladies?