bad boy

For every tear that has ever fallen from my dark brown eyes, I owe to a bad boy. My mother warned me that those bad boys would break my heart. Did I listen? Of course, not. Hardhead. Soft bottom. I’ve always been two things since the age of twelve (late bloomer) 1) A hopeless romantic. 2) A relationship magnet. That’s a bad combination for a woman with hopes and dreams of the perfect happily ever after.  Sure, I ran across the good guys while being single and fabulous. You know the guys who carried your books, were mild-mannered, dressed well, not quite popular, and was as kindhearted as dear your old grandma.  Yep, those guys. We’ve all come across them in our lives. Yet, they were often overlooked by the bad boys. I’m guilty of liking and loving a few bad boys. What is it about them? It’s their confidence, rebellious spirit, undeniable sex appeal, and frankness that makes them irresistible. Just to name a few.

It’s in the music videos, books, sitcoms, and movies. The bad boy always gets the girl. In most romantic comedies, the heroin never goes for the obvious good guy with his life together or whom simply adores the ground she walks on. Nope. We want the guy who’s dark, mysterious, and that sometimes a little dangerous. Opposites attract and that’s okay. Somewhere between heartbreak hotel and single-ville, my admiration for the elusive bad boy began to change. Suddenly, I was beginning to take inventory of every area of my life especially my dating life.

I was tired of feeling stuck in dead-end relationships, casual hook ups, and crying on my girlfriend’s shoulders every couple of months. I was kissing too many frogs in Prince Charming clothing. Enough was enough. Bad boys are fun and exciting to date. But, they’re not the marrying type. At some point in our dating escapades, we must take a closer look at the people we’re dating. Who we entertain reflects ourselves. Often as women, we try to change a man into who we want them to be, especially our bad boys. A man will only change for the woman he’s ready to possibly marry.  Why spend time trying to change someone? Use that energy on loving and conquering from within to be the woman the right man will appreciate and adore.  Don’t settle for anything less than the love you deserve. All those relationship goals on Instagram are for the most part genuinely real. Why? The women didn’t settle and the men stepped up. Time and energy invested into a dead-end relationship means nothing. Dust settles, not you.

Lastly, while pursuing those bad boys I loved so much. I learned that the love I was pouring into those relationships were draining me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When I was younger and foolish, I may have tolerated a lot of things. Cheating, lies, lack of drive and ambition, etc. But, as a woman my desires for an equal partnership that lifts my spirit was a necessity like food. Seek someone that inspires you to prosper and exceed your potential. Don’t overlook the nice guys just because he isn’t flashy or meets all the physical requirements on your list. Remember, God gives us all that we hope and ask for in due time. When you’re praying for a good man that will appreciate and love you, keep your heart open. Sometimes love finds us in the least expecting. I’m still a hopeless romantic. I just choose to date grown men with Godly hearts…happy dating!!

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