Online dating has been a blessing in disguise for me because it gave me the confidence to be my unapologetic self. I started during a stage in my life where I was insecure, and online dating helped me learn a lot about men and the woman that I was becoming.
Sparking conversations online allowed me to test guys out in a “try before you buy” type of way. And getting rejected over the Internet didn’t hurt as bad as getting rejected in real life, so I didn’t have anything to lose.
Although I’ve met my fair share of jerks online, I’ve also made a few really good friends, had insightful conversations, and at the very least, gotten some free meals out of the deal.
Here are a few tips to get your DM jumping (without just being a hookup):
1. Do your research
Whenever you meet a guy online, don’t hesitate to go into full digital stalker mode. Google his name, check out all of the social media profiles you can find, browse his LinkedIn, do a background check if you have mutual friends — do whatever is necessary to make sure he’s legit. That’s how folks get Catfished and ain’t nobody got time to be crying on Nev’s shoulder because the person you’ve been dating isn’t who he say he is.
2. Understand why your bio (and grammar) matters
Aside from pictures, the bio is your first introduction. You can tell a lot about a guy just by reading how he describes himself. If “just ask” or “hmu” is the only thing he writes, quickly exit stage left out of his profile. Anyone that is too lazy to write a few sentences about who they are isn’t worth talking to. If there isn’t substance in a bio, then the outreach is solely based on looks, and everyone knows that looks don’t mean anything if his head isn’t on straight. Plus the bio is a conversation starter and where you can see if there are similar interests upfront.
Also, just because it’s online dating doesn’t mean your grammar goes out the window — show that you’re educated by having an error free profile that’ll attract an intelligent man.
3. Good conversation is hard to come by, so don’t be lazy
It can be difficult getting to know someone without talking to them in person or on the phone, so don’t make it worse by being a lazy conversationalist. Ask them a bunch of questions – random ones if you run out of things to write about. Like what superpower they would want, or what’s their favorite holiday. Just please don’t be boring!
4. Remember your personal brand
Make sure your profile is something that you wouldn’t be ashamed of if your mom saw it. Put up pics that represents you well and shows the brilliant and classy woman that you are.
5. Forget the stigma
Some people look down on online dating. Granted, it’s not for everyone but what way of meeting people is? Everyone isn’t going to meet bae at the grocery store or at church. Different strokes for different folks, so there’s nothing wrong with setting up a profile on Tinder, POF or any other dating site out there!
I’ve never tried a paid site, but I hear that you’re more likely to find people that are looking for commitment instead of hookups, so that may be worth a try.
With online dating, you may find love, or you may meet a good friend that has a compatible cousin — either is a win if you ask me. Just make sure you’re pre-cautious and aware of the red flags, but do your thing girl!
Have you tried online dating? I’d love to hear your stories or tips to be someone’s Tinderella! Share in comments below!