victim of circumstance

Happy woman holding a heart.

In a recent event involving Trey Songz and Keke Palmer, accusations were brought up suggesting that the R&B singer whose real name is Tremaine Neverson, had someone film the actress without her permission so that she’d appear in a cameo for a music video. She also claims that he used sexual intimidation in an attempt for her to agree to his wishes. Although Trey denies doing such things, Keke has said she’ll be taking legal acton against her former friend. In a perfect world, there would be no need to discuss things of this matter but the reality is that people are flawed and it’s better to be properly prepared for when things of this nature occur, then wishing it wouldn’t happen at all. Below you’ll find the best ways to avoid becoming a victim of circumstance.

1. The Company You Keep

Many times we end up in uncomfortable situations because of the people we choose to be around. If you constantly find yourself in undesirable predicaments when in the company of certain individuals, then you might want to reconsider your relationship with them altogether. Anyone who genuinely cares about your well-being, won’t have you in environments where you feel uneasy or that puts your safety at risk. Furthermore, are those who you call your friends acting as such? Be cautious when giving people titles in your life that they have yet to earn or prove they’re worthy of. Do they behave and represent you in a way in which you can be proud of? If not, after reevaluating your so-called “friends,” you might want to take a good look in the mirror to determine why your standards aren’t up to par. The days of thinking that the behavior of others doesn’t affect you are long gone! Your only as good as the company you keep so just be sure that the people in your immediate circle are worth keeping.

2. Location, Location, Location!

Where are you? No, seriously, where do you like to go? Where do you hang out? Where do you get invited to? Believe or not, location has a greater significance in your life than you may realize. Similar to who you spend your time with, where you choose to spend your time is just as important.  Here’s why, often but not always, you can avoid certain mishaps from occurring, just by being selective regarding your whereabouts. If you’ve never been somewhere before then always expect the unexpected. It’s wiser to be in a place you’re familiar with as opposed to not knowing the area and it’s surroundings. Obviously, sometimes you’ll come across new territory so when that happens try to ask someone what it’s like there or take a trusted companion with you. Oprah doesn’t fraternize with just anyone, anywhere and neither should you.

3. Me, Myself, and I

Well, not just me but you too! All of us, whether we’d like to admit it or not, might have to deal with adversity in a place or with a person that will take us by surprise. If so, here’s a few things to remember during a difficult situation that challenges your morals, integrity, and social conduct because, in the midst of it, all you may have is yourself. As mentioned earlier, this isn’t about whether you should be having to deal with this, it’s how you can attempt to avoid it and what to do if it does happen. During moments when you feel threatened and have to protect yourself, all bets are off! Do whatever you can to ensure your wellbeing first, regardless of who might get upset. If you have the chance to, remove yourself physically before things even begin to escalate. Don’t ever wait to see what could happen. Secondly, have some self-control by avoiding consuming too many alcoholic beverages, as it impairs your judgment. You may not always be able to control others but as long as you’re able to control yourself, you’ll be able to maneuver your way out of what’s happening. Lastly, if the person or incident is overwhelming you, don’t hesitate to seek help or the proper authorities.

As women, we don’t always have to be victims of our circumstances, if we learn to make better choices and hold ourselves accountable for our own lives. Also, it helps to be selective with what and who we choose to allow into our personal space in order to evade what is not conducive to our welfare, businesses, and public eye.