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Chocolates, candies, gifts, flowers, exquisite dinners- these are all things that come to mind when we think about Valentine’s Day. However, as people face mounting financial responsibilities, coupled with a culture of being “woke” many guys are opting not to celebrate the national day of love. For some people, Valentine’s Day is a day to show how much you love someone. For others, it’s nothing more than a money-sucking day with roots in paganism. So February approaches and you are telling your man the plans you have for him and dropping hints as to what you would like and where you would like to eat, and instead of matching your excitement, he drops a bomb on you:  He doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and has no intention to. What do you do?

Here are a few suggestions for the ladies who absolutely love love day but who may be loving it by themselves:

  1. Before you just dump the guy, have an honest and candid conversation with him. Discover his true feelings behind his reasoning. Is it because he would really like to get you something nice, but he is simply low on cash and can’t afford it? Does it have to do with his religious beliefs or his upbringing? Or is he simply callous and uncaring? You won’t know until you talk to him and find out. Try to gain an understanding of where he is coming from.
  2. Assess whether or not he shows his love and affection in other ways throughout the year. Does he take you out on a regular basis and does little sweet and thoughtful things and just chooses not to do it on Valentine’s Day? If so, you must really consider whether or not it’s really that big of a deal to you. If he’s not spontaneously thoughtful and he refuses to celebrate Valentine’s Day, then you may need to make other plans regarding V-Day AND your relationship.
  3. Decide whether or not this is a deal-breaker for you. Could you marry someone and be okay with never celebrating Valentine’s Day ever again in your life? If the answer is no, he may not be the one for you. It doesn’t mean that he is a bad guy, however, if you are dating with the intention of getting married, then these are questions you have to ask yourself before the ring. After the ring is too late because he ain’t gonna change. While you are having this conversation, go ahead and inquire about his feelings towards all the other major holidays also (Christmas, Mother’s Day, birthdays, Thanksgiving, etc). Don’t argue with him about his answer. Just make the mental decision about whether or not he is right for you and allow your actions to follow accordingly.
  4. Do something special for him. Women are so used to being pampered year-round and rarely take the time out to do something thoughtful for the man in our life. Cook his favorite meal for him, take him to a nice restaurant and a comedy show afterward. Instead of focusing on what you want and it being about you, flip it and make it a day where it’s about him.
  5. If you’ve got a good man and you decide that him not celebrating V-Day is a deal breaker, consider attending a girls’ night out on Valentines. Go out with your girls or attend a Valentine’s Day empowerment celebration where you can look good, eat good, enjoy yourself and at the same time, learn some strategies to enhance your life.

At the end of the day, only you can determine whether or not celebrating Valentine’s Day is a deal breaker for you. Before you make your final decision, remember that compromising is one thing and settling for something you don’t really want is another. Regardless of what you do, make sure that you never forget to bring love and affection to the most important person in your life: you.