Although this is the season to be jolly, sometimes when you’re single it becomes the season to be sad. Trust me when I say, I am speaking from experience.

Over the years I’ve gone through a range of emotions during the holidays, from pretending to be excited to boycotting the family celebration and everything in between. One year, two of my cousins and my sister showed up pregnant or with a newborn baby and I showed up empty handed.

Even though I felt a little left behind, I had to pause for a second and put things in perspective. Sure I’d shown up alone another year BUT there was still lots that I brought with me. There were still TONS of things I’d accomplished during the year, lots of things I checked off my list and many reasons to remember just how blessed I am.

This year, if you find yourself feeling sad, try to:

#1 Remember what you brought
Even if you didn’t show up with someone, you showed up with something. Think about what you’ve been investing your time and energy into and I’m sure you’ll be able to find a few reasons to recognize your greatness. Maybe you’ve been using your time to build your business instead of make a baby. Maybe you’ve been using your single season to develop yourself instead of seeking to be with someone else. Wherever you are and whatever you’re currently experiencing– there’s always something to be thankful for, something that you’re bringing to the table even if it’s not a bae.

#2 Forget the pressure, focus on what you want
The crazy thing is, the people who harass me the most about my personal life don’t even have one of their own. And that’s how it usually is. We get so caught up in what everyone else wants for us that we start to forget what we actually want because we’re fixated on outside opinions. Wanting a relationship is totally cool, as long as it’s for the right reasons. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into trading your deadline for God’s timeline.

#3 Be patient with yourself
Anything worth having is worth the wait and I truly believe we’ll appreciate it so much more because we’ve been without. Whether it’s “fun” or not, I am 100% sure that everything happens at the perfect time. Even though we want creative control over who we’re with, how it happens and when it comes about that’s just not how it works. Your job is to get prepared and God will do the rest– in perfect time. We have to stop setting these unrealistic deadlines for ourselves and then slipping into depression when it doesn’t go as planned.

Believe it or not, your love story could begin at any time. If you just keep yourself aligned with what you want, remain positive and trust the process.

God makes no mistakes. Rest assured that the man for you will find you… at the perfect time.