A few weeks ago I met this guy at an event. It was a relationship panel so naturally we started talking about dating..specifically the dating scene in Atlanta. Out of nowhere he tells me since living in ATL for 4 years, he hasn’t had to wait longer than a week for sex.
You read that right.
He went on to tell me that almost all of the women who give it up within a week are the “really good girls” who don’t go anywhere or do anything…for some reason, she’s easily convinced (easy as in a freakin week) that he could be the one. What’s worse is that he was so damn charming that I knew he wasn’t lying.
He literally said all it takes is a few jokes, some drinks and a good conversation. That made me think about the times I’ve had sex “too soon” [and by too soon, I mean based on my own standards for myself– not anyone else’s] I was so outraged that I started talking to other guys about it, and none of them were surprised. In fact, they agreed.
You know who was surprised? The women. They were the ones who acted so shocked and surprised…but I’m not buying it because these guys are having sex with someone!!!
The point is, men and women perceive things differently almost all of the time. What’s reasonable to him may not be acceptable to you, and vice versa.
The only way to prepare for healthy relationships is by developing a healthy understanding of men. We gotta get into the mind of these men and figure out where the disconnect is. Not just for relationships, but because our community depends on our communication.
This year, one thing I’m looking forward to the most is the conversation we’re going to have with a few of my favorite guys! It’s going down Saturday October 22nd, I’m hosting the all-male relationship readiness panel and you can’t afford to miss it.
We’re talking dating, marriage and the black family and I feel blessed to share this much needed dialogue.
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