Here are the 6 signs you might have outgrown your friends:


  1. You let them go to voice-mail .

Now trust me, sometimes it just isn’t a good time to answer the phone. Maybe you are under the hair dryer, in the middle of preparing dinner, or just plain don’t want to talk. But if you find yourself hitting the “send to voicemail” button 10 times out of 10, you really don’t want to talk to this person. There is something no longer fresh, interesting or, motivating about their conversation or what they may be up to. So ask yourself, “What is causing you to have more voice-mails from friends, than conversations?”

  1. Conversation is dreadful.

The art of a great conversation changes as you evolve and mature. Solange Knowles (@saintrecords on Instagram) said it best on her 30th birthday Instagram post “I let go of friends on my journey to womanhood.” This sums it up. NO SHADE, NO JUDGE. But if you no longer care about the latest episode of reality TV or even mediocre “How’s work?” “How’s it going” talk, you might have outgrown the friendship. Sometimes we ignore this because it’s the obligation to keep in touch with the homie from college or high school. Insert PEOPLE PLEASER. Listen, I’m just helping you to come to the conclusion this friendship might have ran its course.

  1. You’d rather stay at home than hang.

It’s Thursday night… and you dread the text saying, “Hey girl, what you doing this weekend?  I’m in the mood for some seafood.” Here’s the thing, everyone loves a quick night out for a bite to eat… but then what??? You fill yourself up with crab legs and butter, water with a side of lemons and, a $35 tab to talk about absolutely NOTHING. You know this “night out” is far from exciting. You would much rather go to the gym, read a book, or watch a cooking competition show, lol… I’m just saying.

  1. You lie or pretend to be busy.

ENTER THE DANGER ZONE. Are you lying to get out of hanging with the squad?! This is the biggest sign that friendship(s) no longer satisfies you. To avoid hanging out, you find yourself saying things like “I’m not feeling well”, “I have plans with the family (married friends use this A LOT, they be sitting right there on the couch, lol)” and my favorite, “I already have plans.” STOP IT! You are not being honest and although it is kind of funny, it’s not AUTHENTIC. Get to a place where you just say, “No” without any explanation.

  1. They are just too NEGATIVE.

“Girl, she tried it!  Are these the first few words out of their mouth when they call you? Or maybe it’s more like “Beyoncé is doing too much and needs to sit down.” OK WAIT….let’s address this Beyoncé comment first. If any of your friends don’t get down with King B, you should have already questioned the friendship, LOL! No but seriously, if all he or she has ever does is hate on celebrities, bloggers, entrepreneurs… THE WORLD….this person must go! Hating is the first sign of insecurity and that ish is CONTAGIOUS.

  1. You make all the plans Every. Single. Time.

Do you plan the dates, send the invites, text the prices, and book the flights? HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM. If you are always the event coordinator (with no booking fees or tips might I add) this is not the circle of friends to keep. They are lazy, uncreative and, yet have the most feedback about the airline, hotel and cost. I’m just saying… I know you are probably thinking “But I don’t mind creating and planning events.” Well here’s what I’ll say to that #1. Start a business and get paid followed by #2 you might have issues with being alone or riding solo. But for now I will lay off.

Ultimately the goal is have a variation of well-rounded, smart and, supportive friends. Hopefully this post will help you come out of denial and maybe examine why you may be afraid to be real with yourself or come to terms with your own growth. It truly is less about the friends and more about you acknowledging how you have grown or changed. Just know that it is ok!

Rebel On,

Antres Finnie

Creator of @TheRobotRebel

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