Sorry girl, he’s just not the one.
Let me first start by apologizing. I know how hard it is to accept that the one you want for you is not the one God created for you…. the truth hurts.
But, the sooner you take heed to the warnings, recognize the signs and make the tough decision to call it quits, the sooner the man who’s meant for you can make him move.
Over the years, me along with almost all of my friends have fallen into foolishness with a guy who wasn’t even worth our time. So when I look back and think about what each situation had in common, it’s pretty clear where we all went wrong. Another thing I’ve learned is that women all over the world seem to make the same mistakes when it comes to men. We can be the top of our class with 3 degrees on the wall and a six figure salary, but when it comes to a man who we “like” we lose it all.
Don’t be the fool.
Another mistake we make is blaming people for our bad decisions. When Prince Charming pulled up on you looking good, smelling good and saying all the right things; you lost all control of yourself and your emotions and you standards went out the window. The moment we meet a man we actually look forward to spending time with, we tend to do everything we can to make it work. The thing we fail to realize is that all of this is in our control.
It’s not that our intuition fails us, it’s that we fail to take heed to what it’s saying. We brush it off, sweep it under the rug and make a bunch of excuses about why he’s different, how he’s going to change and why we need to just stick it out.
Sticking it out does just that, keeps your ass stuck.
So if you find yourself in a situationship and are unsure of whether this man should be your man, here are six reasons to cut him off and keep it moving:
1. He’s committed to someone else
Even though it’s ridiculous that I have to mention this, it’s number one on the list. If this guy is committed to someone else, he ain’t the one for you. In 2016 the lines of commitment are blurred so let’s just define it as “having another woman who claims him as hers.” Thirsty women like to use the excuse that because he isn’t married, he’s a free agent. WRONG. If there’s another woman he’s going home to, leave his ass at home.
2. He doesn’t make you a priority
Notice I said “a priority” and not “the priority.” I think it’s pretty unrealistic for you to expect a man you aren’t married to, to make you his #1 priority. For any man who’s seeking success, his professional development will probably be his priority. However, it is realistic for a man to make time to spend with you, make you feel like you matter and be there for you when you’re in need. The man for you will want to spend time with you…and not just after midnight. If he always has a bunch of excuses about why he can’t see you or why he doesn’t call you, keep it moving. Someone out there is waiting to appreciate you and you don’t have time to waste begging for a place in his life.
3. He’s letting you take the lead
FLAG ON THE PLAY. DO NOT PASS GO. Let this fool go. Take it from me on this one ladies, if you start out leading the relationship, you’re going to end up losing him. Men work for what they want and if he’s not working for you, he doesn’t really want you. A lot of alpha females end up losing out in love because we tend to be go getters and naturally take charge. In a relationship, the man should be the natural leader. So if you’re always planning when you’ll see each other or always making the decisions– you are signing up to do this for life. Thirsty women who propose to their man because he’s not stepping up to the plate are the perfect example of when taking the lead goes wrong.
4. He’s dishonest
Being forgiving is one thing, being a fool is another. If you find yourself forgiving a man for doing the exact same thing twice, the third time is your fault. We have to get out of our feelings and tap into our intelligence when it comes to these relationships and situationships because if we don’t we will end up with our feelings hurt every single time. If you’re dating a guy who can’t even be real with you, how can you ever expect to create a real relationship? The foundation of healthy, happy relationships is honesty. A man is only worth his word.
5. You see yourself changing (& not in a good way)
The man who God has created just for you is definitely going to have an influence on you. But if you notice that influence is negative and it’s taking you out of your character, he’s not the one. If you find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally do, putting yourself in compromising situations or violating your values– he ain’t it boo. Your man will want the best for you and he’ll want to help you become better. He’s either helping or hurting and as Tyler Perry says, “I can do bad all by myself!” If you’re doing worse with him than you were by yourself, what the hell is he there for?
6. You find yourself ignoring your intuition
Your intuition is a gift from God and it has to be respected as such. I can recall so many red flags in past relationships that I ignored…only to have them blow up in my face later. Whether you sweep his bad behavior under the rug for one month or one year, it’s eventually going to sneak back up on. The sooner you recognize it for what it is, the sooner you can release the emotional ties.
I hate seeing smart, beautiful women fall in love with losers. Being in the wrong relationship can literally ruin your life so choose wisely, think carefully and listen closely when you’re spirit (intuition) speaks.
The most important business decision a woman will ever make is the man she marries. Stop wasting time with guys who aren’t worth your time.