1. Travel Abroad

When you expand your family by having children, traveling abroad becomes very difficult if not impossible. It certainly has been an impossible task for my husband and me to accomplish! When you have children there are a lot of factors to consider before booking your trip abroad…associated costs, the kids time off of school or deciding if you have the courage to put yourself in a position where you are unable to get to your children immediately in case of emergency are just three of the many factors that make traveling abroad difficult after you’re married with children.


  1. Material Investments

Naturally your priorities shift after marriage, but one thing no one warned me about was the amount of guilt I would experience during the times I actually decide to treat myself. I can recall a time after getting my bonus at work, being in my local Louis Vuitton store. I nearly had an anxiety attack as I walked to the cash register! (Disclaimer, I am frugal by nature so perhaps this only applies to me) I could not get past the list of home remodeling goals, savings goals, etc.

Therefore, before being married with children, I recommend investment pieces. We all love them anyway! Timeless Handbags, outerwear, footwear, etc. I am not talking about frivolous trendy items…Think about the amazing and timeless pieces you know you’ll have for years to come.

After marriage, between increased retirement and personal savings, investing in 529 education savings plans and the everyday costs associated with managing a family; luxuriating often doesn’t even make the back seat anymore!


  1. Dating

I have always been in a long term relationship since the age of 15. I went from my high school sweetheart of 5 years to my 1st college sweetheart, then met my husband in the later years of college. There were a few stints of exposure to different guys during the off times and, of course, some on and off rotation of the same three, but I never had a time where I was truly single…more like my situation was either I’m taken or it’s complicated. LOL.

Before marriage, I would have spent more time simply dating without expectations. Now, let’s clarify. I am not talking about sleeping around. But a lot of the frustration I experienced earlier on in marriage was not being able to understand or appreciate my husbands’ perspective or our differences in general. I can’t help but to wonder if having more interactions and exposure to different types of guys may have made me more open-minded as it comes to managing relationships.


  1. City Living

Probably the biggest regret I have is never having experienced city living. I am from New York but lived on Long Island all my life. My friends tell me living in the city is overrated, but I can’t deny…there is something very appealing (to me) about the city life!

My now husband and I purchased our first home (before marriage) when I was 23. It felt like I went from being a collegiate to a homeowner with so many responsibilities! From my vantage point, city living is the epitome of being single, sexy and free with the world awaiting you at your doorstep!


Being married is absolutely wonderful and certainly has its perks, but I hope my list of “Before the I do’s” can inspire you to examine some of the things you would love to do or enjoy more before accepting the honor and responsibilities of being a wife and mom.


Rhea A.G. Plummer is the Executive Director of Fab Wives, “A community of wives committed to Love and Marriage.” For more about Rhea and her personal journey in love and marriage visit http://fabwives.com or email her at rhea@fabwives.com

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