Maneuvering through this modern dating world is confusing to say the least. I often ask myself, do people really know what love is? There’s no denying both men and women use the term very loosely now a days. It’s also safe to say a crash course in understanding the true value of what it means to love someone unconditionally, is much needed.

Recently, I posed the question to many of my friends, “can you be in love with two people at the same time?” The overwhelming response was, “Yes” it is possible to be in love with two people at the exact time. Although, I wholeheartedly disagree, I’ll admit everyone had extremely valid points as to why they believed this notion to be true. 

As for me, when I love, I love hard and there is absolutely no one who can come between what you and I share. The only person to put our love in question or jeopardy is YOU, the person who I am romantically involved with. Loving one person is stressful enough, let alone trying to juggle two or more, on-going love affairs at the same time. One of my friends joked about trying to figure out if she loved one person, let alone two people, which is exactly how I feel. 

I learned the hard way about the illusion of being in love with two different people at the same time. Except I wasn’t the one on the receiving end, reaping all of the benefits of having multiple love interests. Instead I was the one being played where my pseudo man was caught between a rock and a hard place between myself and someone else.

Once I caught wind of this, it was a hurtful and it was also a done deal. There was absolutely no way I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, allowing him to weigh his options of who he wanted to be with. If you find yourself, weighing the options of which to be with then I’m obviously not the one for you.

And honestly speaking, that’s OK because rejection is a part of life, but the way you handle it makes a world of difference. I believe if you’re genuinely in love with someone, then there are no ifs, ands, or buts about being with that person.

Naturally, he went on to be with his other love interest because after being exposed, I dismissed several of his advances to have “the talk” and try to work things out. Of course, as the story goes, two months later after giving the serious relationship with the other woman a shot, he tried desperately to make his way back to me. Confirming, it wasn’t love but lust coupled with feelings of intimacy that more or less clouded his sound judgment. 

Talk about adding further insult to injury because this love quarrel was becoming a game of Ping-Pong. If something doesn’t work out, then having the opportunity to return and make amends is always an option, more or less having a security blanket to fall back on.

Although I sympathized with his rational it wasn’t enough to lure me back in. It’s unfortunate that many times we aren’t able to fully know the difference of being in love and being in lust with someone, potentially settling because you’ve ruined a good thing.  When it’s all said and done would you want someone to do this to you?

Here’s the thing, couples fall in and out of love all of the time it’s part of the growing pains of being in a relationship. I personally believe to say you’re in love with two people at the same time is a selfish motive, reminiscent of the old saying, having your cake and eating it too.

My personal belief, if you’re going to love, then love hard because there’s only room in your heart to love one person fully, wholeheartedly and undoubtedly. Remember, love is an action, not just an empty space that occupies your heart.

So if you find yourself caught in a love triangle, then honestly ask yourself what is love and what does it mean to you? I assure you playing with hearts only to get caught in the crossfire will leave you burning in the end. Besides, who wants to live a life full of regrets, constantly wondering about the one who got away?


Written by Dontaira Terrell